sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
