Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
