Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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