I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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