I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
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It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
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You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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