I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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