He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
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You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
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You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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