Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
