Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My life is pants optional.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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