I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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