You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
