Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
