I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
