so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This girl is more easily done than said...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
