My nipple is on Facebook.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Someone shit on the floor
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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