Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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