I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
