you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize