I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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