i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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