there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
