all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
