problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
