ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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