I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
