on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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