saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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