goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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