they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
