Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Damn victory sex feels great
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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