my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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