your parents love me but you hate me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
