Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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