Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Even my vagina gasped.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
