Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
