Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
