Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
