I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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