But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
