my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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