Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Randomize
