I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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