I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
