Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
