Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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