Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He did a backflip because drugs
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
