people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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