We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Say something about gay babies.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
