i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
