So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
