She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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