How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
