Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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