real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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