He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
