I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
