i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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