help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
lol hangovers are for mortals.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
