I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
